[Open] Reading Between the Bumps

[Ren Tenshi]

“Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three…” he counted in a soft voice with one hand pressed against the wall. He was almost to his destination and he was looking forward to his time with his new books. There weren’t many brail books in the library of his new home but he was optimistic and didn’t mind reading them over again. Though, he had heard they had just gotten something new and he was really looking forward to reading it, well, feeling it.

He chuckled gently to himself at the personal joke. Going blind had probably been the best part about his disease and he knew most people thought he was weird when he admitted this but the world was so much…easier to handle when he couldn’t see people. So much hatred was formed in the world because of what someone looked like and before he had lost his sight Ren had been the same. His family had taught him to be stuck up and only love those of his own race but now that he was blind he couldn’t see the differences in people and just loved them for who they were. It really…opened his eyes, no pun intended.

“Ninety-seven,” he finally ended feeling the door to the library under his hand and smiling. Running his hand down the metal he found the handle and opened it up. The warmth of the fireplace caressed his body the instant the door was open; it made him feel at home. He walked confidently across the room a little nervous about not having a wall or something to keep track of what was in front of him. Countless times had he tripped over a book left by some idiot or hit a chair moved but he was confident and felt with his feet until he held out a hand at exactly 12 steps and found the book shelf he was looking for.

His hands brushed against the bookshelf until he felt the backs of the books he was looking for. The small bumps stood out against his sensitive fingers making him smile as he grabbed one by Maya Angelou and pulled it down. He started counting the steps to his favorite chair and felt around to make sure no one was sitting there before taking a seat. He could feel the heat of the fire not too far from him and relaxed into the chair. Without a sound he opened Their Eyes Were Watching God[/u], why did everything involve eyes with him?, and got to reading it in the silence of the empty library.
[/size][/color]

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

She was asleep in front of the fireplace, with a pillow under her head and a light blanket draped over her slender figure. When the lights had gone off in her room she had made a run for it, sure that someone was going to get her in the dark. Her paranoid mind hadn't let her go back afterward either, she had gone and stolen a pillow and blanket from somewhere else.

The fire had kept her nice and warm, its orange flames comforting as they danced. She hadn't meant to fall asleep but she had. She woke up when she heard someone sitting on a chair, but she only opened her eyes and froze, her body tense. She didn't know who it was.

Slowly she turned herself though and let her eyes rest on the guy with the book. Her vision was a little foggy still and she raised her hands to rub her eyes lightly as well before looking at him more closely. He hadn't seemed to notice her.

"Hey.."

Her voice was friendly as she spoke, deciding that she would greet him. She didn't notice that the book was braille or she would have guessed that he was blind. Her mind was a little too asleep to be thinking about things like that at the moment though.

She stretched her arms and yawned before she sat up more in front of the fire, letting her eyes turn to it for a second before she looked at him again. She'd seen him around but she hadn't had the pleasure of meeting him yet.

She wouldn't interrupt his reading too much though, she knew that some people didn't like it when other people started to talk to them while they were in the middle of reading a good book. She never really read anything because she was too scared that if she concentrated too much on a book and forgot to keep track of what was happening around her then she'd be too vulnerable. And she didn't want them to get her.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Ren Tenshi]

His fingers lightly traced over the soft bumps on the rough paper taking in every word he could. Having gone blind when he was a child, he was used to brail; he could read in regular words and in brail as well, he was quite talented even if he couldn’t use one of the skills. He stopped reading when he heard a shift not too far from him that wasn’t from the fire. As anyone could guess his hearing was fantastic to make up for the lack of his sight; it made sure to keep him as safe as possible though the person must have been either asleep or ignoring him if they hadn’t made a sound while he walked up. Then again, thinking of where he was, it could be anything.

The voice was sweet and kind and came from a few feet to the right of the young man. He looked in the direction of her voice but he was pretty sure he wasn’t looking exactly at her like most people. The concept of “eye contact” meant nothing to him. Most of the time people noticed he was blind by the way he always looked at them but didn’t really “look” at them. It was like having a starry-eyed expression. He didn’t mind though; the fact that he was blind made him special and was a good conversation starter even though most people tend to stay away from the subject of sight, or eyes, or vision around him.

“Hello,” he responds with a bright smile closing the book on his finger to keep his place. Ren was glad someone wanted to talk around here even though he had to be very careful what he said around some of them. “I hope I didn’t disturb you, miss. I didn’t know there was anyone else here.” His own voice was soft and sweet, almost gentle, though loud enough for her to hear clearly. He moved his body slightly so he could face her direction a bit more and tilted his head trying to catch small sounds to make sure she was still there and sitting. He had heard of some patients getting mad suddenly and attacking other patients; he didn’t want to be someone attacked. Sure, he could fight, but he had a major disadvantage. He wasn’t going to be paranoid though; he had lived his life normally up until now and he wasn’t going to change.

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

When he said hello as well she smiled happily, she loved to meet people she hadn't really had a chance to meet before. She decided not to bother him any more than that and to leave him to read his book but she saw him shut it, using his finger to keep his place. That had to mean that he wanted to talk. Her smile got a bit bigger at that thought, a happy expression on her face.

She listened to what he said.

"Rosie. You can call me Rosie."

She commented in a friendly tone. Moving up into more of a sitting position.

"Its a bit weird to be called miss."

She added in a little bit of a playful tone. She didn't mean to offend him or anything like that, she just found it a little strange to be called anything but her name because that never really happened in this place.

"You didn't disturb me. I think I fell asleep here last night when.. "

She didn't finish the sentence but let it trail off and hoped he wouldn't ask. But if he did then she would answer him out of good manners. She didn't have anything to hide but she just didn't really feel like shouting out her problems to everyone she met. It might put him off talking to her.

"How long have you been in here?"

She meant in the mansion. She watched him while she made herself comfortable sitting against the pillow that she'd propped up against the little wall next to where the fire was. She could feel the heat from the fire but it was nice instead of being too hot.

She had noticed that he had looked just a little to the side of her and she had noticed the way his eyes looked as well. She knew that he was blind but she wasn't going to mention it, it didn't make him any different to anyone else, especially not in this place. Everyone here had something different about them, she found each person's individuality interesting and it made people who they were.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Ren Tenshi]

Ren liked how happy she sounded even though she wasn’t in a very happy kind of place. Sure, everyone here got depressed and let their feelings get the best of them but Ren thought the best way to stay alive as long as possible was to keep fighting through depression by trying to keep a very positive mind set. He had gone through his depression the first few years he had started to go blind then he got tired of it and learned to work through his problems by being independent along with happy. To hear another person so happy made him smile brightly; plus, he hadn’t talked to many people here since he got here so her company was more than welcome.

“Rosie. Sorry, born and bred politeness. I thought it was better than calling you girl!” he laughs softly as he reached out beside him to feel around for the table he knew was there before setting his book down to give his full attention to his new companion. “What a pretty name! My name is Ren, it’s a pleasure to meet you Rosie.” He would have offered his hand but he didn’t want to look like a fool if he reached out in the wrong direction. Instead, he concentrated on her lovely voice that was so sweet and gentle even when she trailed off in her sentence. It was obvious she was hesitant to tell him what had run her out of her room last night so he was more than happy to accommodate her silence on the matter. “This is where I come to relax as well! It’s so peaceful and warming,” he replies gently to make it clear he didn’t want her to explain any more. Sometimes it was best not to speak of some things.

He thought about her question carefully for a second. How long had he been here? “Not too long, probably two or three weeks at most,” he tells her playing with the ring on his right hand. It was one of the things he had brought with him from his home in Japan because one of his friends had given it to him as a graduation gift. His friends all knew they probably would never see him again but he was sure they would find a cure for him here. Then, he’d go back home with all of his family and friends where he would live a happy, normal life. “What about you, Rosie? Come here often?” he jokes lightly with a happy smile on his face relaxing back into his chair enjoying their conversation happily.

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

Rosie listened to everything that he said, watching him feel for the table so that he could put his book down. She wasn't sure whether she would survive being blind, she would get extra paranoid and she was paranoid enough as it was.

His joking question made her laugh lightly.

"Only every day of most of my life."

Her voice was happy but it had a bit of sadness in it. She had never had a chance to really experience life outside of this place before they had brought her here. Maybe that was why she could so easily accept being in here unlike some of the other patients.

She let her gaze move around the room that they were sitting in. She had already read every single book in here, even their newest ones. Except for those that she couldn't understand though.

"What's it like to be blind?"

Her tone was curious as she asked the question. She was hoping not to offend him by asking but she couldn't really help it. She couldn't imagine not being able to see and he seemed to live with it happily enough. She just wanted to know how hard it really was, just to get some understanding of what he has to go through every day.

Her grey eyes were resting on him again, just taking in what he looked like. He wouldn't be able to see what she looked like, he would just be able to hear her. That would be hard for her, she liked to see what people looked like too much, it was almost a game for her. Because sometimes you could tell what was wrong with them just by looking at them. At other times you just had to talk to them though. Sometimes there was no way of telling.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Ren Tenshi]

It really wasn’t bad in the mansion as far as he could tell. It was kind of corporate and cold but other than that it was quite nice. He was around people who knew what he was going through; the constant fear of dying loomed around many heads in the mansion and that’s what he had to go through on a daily basis. The doctors told him he shouldn’t be alive right now because of his disease, which was supposed to kill him off in his late teens, early twenties, at most. He had beaten the odds so far so maybe he could get to twenty-one and have his first drink; this was his goal as it had been his goal to graduate when he had first gotten the disease. He had accomplished that goal! Of course, he’d probably lose all muscle control before his goal but at least he would be alive!

“I know how that is!” he chuckles lightly knowing the topic of being here was a tender subject for most people but to him…he’d rather be here than bothering those he loved with his constant fight. At least with him here they wouldn’t have to think about it every time they saw him. He hadn’t seen his family in a while, which he was glad of. He didn’t want them seeing him like this; they had too much to worry about as it was.

Her curious question made him smile as he sat back in his chair again to think about what it was like to be blind. You would think he wouldn’t have to even debate but being blind was what he had to live with on a daily basis. If he suddenly was able to see again he’d have to adjust to fit that way of life just like he did when he turned blind. “It’s dark,” he tells her slightly joking and slightly serious because it was true. “But, at the same time it’s nice. Sure, when I started out it was hard not being able to see where I was going but as I got used to it…I liked it better than seeing.” This was hard to explain for him because he, of course, had been able to see at one time but he couldn’t remember what it was like. It’s like being color-blind all of your life. If someone tries to explain colors to you it just doesn’t work!

“I grew up in a household that taught me to discriminate against anything not Japanese so I would judge people by the color of their skin or what they looked like,” he said thinking back to his family that hated Americans and anything that wasn’t purebred Japanese. “So, when I lost my sight I couldn’t tell what people were! Sure, there were accents but that didn’t matter. There are Japanese people who have Australian accents and Americans with German accents so I couldn’t judge people. This lead me to loving people for who they were and nothing more! It was quite and ‘eye-opener’, excuse the pun!” He smiles slightly then looks in the girl’s direction. “I have to count steps to get to places. There are exactly ninety-seven steps from my room to the library. But, I don’t miss sight at all. I’d rather just hear voices than see their faces!”

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

She was fascinated by what he was telling her, leaning forward slightly as if she as literally being drawn to him by his words. She found that kind of funny but she didn't laugh because then he might think she was laughing at him.

She could see how all of his words made sense. Maybe everyone in the world needed to go blind, just so they could learn to love everyone despite what they looked like. Then they could get their sight back again as a reward. That would be interesting.

When he was done she smiled and just paused for a second while she finished taking it all in.

"Don't you ever wonder what someone looks like though?"

Her tone was still curious, he didn't seem to mind talking about this. She was smiling in a happy way, still just glad of the company. She pushed the blanket off of her, being too hot now. And then she got up, going over to a chair and pulling it closer to where he sat before sitting down on it so that she was sitting in front of him and facing him.

She let her knee lightly bump his, just in case he wasn't sure where she was. She didn't really think about it, it just seemed a thoughtful thing to do.

"What happens if you miscount? Do you end up somewhere completely different?"

Her tone was a little playful as well now, she would hate having to count that high just to get somewhere. She would probably just lose count and then look like an idiot for trying to find books in a bathroom or someone's bedroom or something like that. Or she would just end up falling down the stairs.

She was making a note in her head to get her guitar at some stage to sing to him if he wanted, since he seemed to like hearing people's voices. And maybe she could read one of the other books here to him too, since there couldn't be that many braille ones for him to read. But she was just going to keep him company for now, she was enjoying talking to him.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Ren Tenshi]

For a few seconds he was afraid he had spoken too much because sometimes he tended to get off on random tangents where he would do nothing but talk to the other person. He didn’t mind talking about his disability because it had helped him love people for who they were no matter what they were or what they looked like. He turned his head when he heard her moving to get closer and he smiled. Ren had been a contact person back at home with his friends because in all truth there was only one way for him to see a person and that involved one of his other senses. Her question rang in his head as he thought about how to answer it.

“Sometimes, but I like people by their personality,” he tells her chuckling before leaning in slightly as he felt her knee tell him she was close. “I’ll let you in on a secret though.” Playfully, he looked around as if trying to see if someone was listening as if he were about to tell something very secret. “When I hear a voice I build my own picture of the person in my mind! Don’t tell anyone though!” He gives a small laugh hidden behind his hand before reaching out to touch her knee lightly with his fingers as if to get comfort that she was still there. “But, I can use my hands to see a person.”

He laughs brightly at her comment and nods his head. “I have ended up in a completely different place before! It’s so embarrassing but I just find something familiar and go by that or just ask someone; you know, call for a doctor to help me! I’m not embarrassed by my disease just not being able to find where I’m going. Counting’s better than using a stick and dogs aren’t allowed!” he explains with a smile playing with the ring on his finger yet again.

“I have to admit though, I’m glad I lost my sight and not my hearing. I love music too much to live in silence!” he chuckles softly flexing his fingers to make sure he still had muscle control. He hated his ataxia because it was taking away his ability to walk and play his bass, which were basically the only two things he had left. “Silence is my worst nightmare! I always have to have some kind of noise!”
[/size]

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

She loved that he wasn't shy at all, having a conversation with someone who actually talked back was much more interesting than just having to work hard to keep a conversation going when they didn't say anything.

His answers were just making her more curious and making her want to ask more questions. If he wanted to ask questions about her then she would answer, it was only fair.

"And what sort of a picture have you got for me so far? I can tell you if you're right or wrong."

Her tone was playful too, the way he'd looked around the room as if to see if there was anyone else there had made her smile. He seemed to have a good sense of humor, which was a good thing if he was going to be around her.

"I think darkness would be my worst nightmare since it's one of my biggest fears. Sadly I'll never have silence, even if I go deaf."

She spoke calmly and almost thoughtfully, just thinking about what she was saying and how true it was. She wouldn't be able to live in darkness, she hadn't even been able to stay in her room when it had gone dark and that was supposed to be a safe place for her to be. But she never felt safe if she was somewhere that was dark.

"Music does make everything better though. Always has for me."

Her comment was made almost quietly, just an honest statement, a little fact that she was giving him that would help him understand her.

She let a smile come back to her features though, pushing aside any negative thoughts and feelings inside of her, fearful that they might bring the voice in her head back and trigger hallucinations. Something she didn't need right now. Unless of course her new found friend here was just an hallucination.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Ren Tenshi]

He’d been asked questions all of his life since he was diagnosed with his disease and of course, he was more than willing to share his information. After all, he might not live much longer and he wanted at least one person to remember him. Plus, he liked to talk, obviously, and to have someone interested in him and what he was going through was so exciting to him.

“Hm…” he thinks with a smile on his face before touching her knee again to just feel the physical contact that she was still there. “You have dark hair, deep brown or maybe black and big, bright eyes…green. You’re slender and most importantly, beautiful, but in a dark way.”

He gives a soft smile when he finishes and listens to her words carefully nodding his head. “Don’t worry, Rosie, we all have secrets here. Mine will keep me blind, make me loose all muscle control, and kill me in my early twenties. That’s why this is such a great place, we all have something haunting us; we can comfort each other because we know what it’s like to be afraid and in the dark,” he whispers reaching across the distance to touch her jaw before pulling back and settling in his chair. “Plus, the dark’s not so bad! I just keep in mind that the things in the dark can’t see me so I’m the monster! Rawr!”

He gives a bright laugh trying to lighten the mood a bit with his stupid jokes as he brushes his knee against hers subconsciously. He couldn’t help it; he was such a contact person. He was one of those people who had to touch someone he cared about. And even though he had just met Rosie the people in the mansion had to stick with each other no matter what. “I’ll have to play my bass for you sometime,” he tells her brightly with a happy smile. He had to do it while he could before he lost the battle against ataxia but at least he could listen to her music if he ever lost complete control. This made him feel ten times better.

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

She listened almost intently to the description that he had so far made up of her a smile on her face. She felt her face redden as he said that she was beautiful but she knew that he wouldn't be able to see it so that was ok. She couldn't help it, compliments were exactly something she was used to. She was seen as a bit weird in here because she's always been here so there are a few things that she's socially handicap with. She was more used to whispering behind her back and people being too scared to talk to her because of what she might do.

"Almost. But my eyes are grey."

She told him in a playful tone, a smile still on her face. She didn't mind him being a contact person, she was too in a way. She liked to touch the people she was talking with in some way, even if it was just having her knee lightly touch theirs. It was comforting in a way, knowing someone was there and close. She never could really trust what she saw much.

She listened to what he had to say about this place and how the things in the dark couldn't see him and he was the monster and she couldn't help but laugh a little, though it had a saddened tone to it. She hated meeting great people just to lose them a few years later. It just seemed unfair that they should die and she should keep living. Most of them were better people than she would ever be.

"How old are you now?"

She was trying to keep her tone light and happy but it still sounded somewhat serious. She just wanted to know how many years of his company she would have before she would lose him too. It helped her a little to know these things. But it wouldn't change the way that she looked at him at all.

The mention of music did draw her attention away from the thought of death though and she smiled again happily.

"I can play my guitar and we can have a whole music session together then. Depends though, what sort of music do you like?"

She added the question in a playful and teasing tone that almost suggested that he absolutely had to give the right answer or there would be consequences. But she was only being playful though.

She shifted forward on her seat a little, her legs now resting against his but she didn't think that he would mind. She let a hand lightly rest on his leg just above the knee as well.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Ren Tenshi]

"Aw, I was so close!" he laughs brightly as she tells him how close he was. It wasn't a big surprise though because somehow he was pretty good at guessing what a person looked like even though he had only lived a few years with sight and could judge a person's looks by only their voice and personality. It was a gift he was very proud of. "Grey? Just like mine! Or, so I'm told! I used to have brown eyes until I went blind but I think I like my grey eyes better! Brown's so ordinary!" he jokes around.

His parents had had to adjust to his new way of life back in Japan and it had been hard. They had worried unceasingly about him; they had gotten him a seeing-eye dog, a walking stick, everything to make him comfortable without his sight but the only time he used the stick was outside on the streets and even then he had someone with him to make sure he wasn't going to get hit in traffic. He was fine on his own and even though he didn't mind dogs people were still tempted to come up and touch her, which was a big no-no.

The biggest thing they had to adjust to was his need of contact. Being a traditional Japanese family there wasn't much hugging going on before he had gone blind. When he lost his sight he needed that contact to make sure they were still there; it had been hard for them. This was another reason why he was glad he was here and not there; they could have another child if they wanted and he/she most likely wouldn't have his disease.

"Eighteen," he answered her with a gentle smile on his face as he reached out to touch the hand on his leg. "The doctors said I wouldn't make it this far, Rosie, and I have. When they told me that I wouldn't make it past my seventeenth birthday I made a goal to make it past graduation and I did. My new goal is to have my first legal drink at twenty-one!" He sounded happy as he explained all of this and he was. There was nothing to be afraid of; death didn't scare him as much as normal people; he lived with Death over his shoulder every day. Why should he be scared now?

At the news that she had a guitar he perked up instantly, if that was even possible seeing as he was already happy enough. Her joking question made him chuckle. "Putting the pressure on me? I can't answer simple questions under pressure!" he laughs happily squeezing her hand gently. "I just like music, period. Remember, sound is my life!" He gives a giant smile as her legs press against his and she, so far, hasn't pulled her hand away. "Well, that's a lie, rap really isn't my thing!"[/size]

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

Eighteen. He was as young as her. She sometimes hated how people who would still have their whole lives ahead of them had to die because of some disease that they were either born with or got later in life. But his happiness as he talked about the goals that he made so that he would live as long as he could made her happy as well. It wasn't often you got people who so happily challenged death.

She listened to him say that he couldn't answer simple questions under pressure and laughed slightly. Listening to his answer calmly. When he squeezed her hand she looked down at it but she wouldn't pull it away. Then she listened to him say that rap really wasn't his thing and laughed. "But its the best type of music!" She protested playfully, clearly lying though. "I can't stand it actually. I don't know why its even called music." She stated simply.

"Do you have a favorite song? Or just a favorite sound?" She asked him curiously, wanting to get to know him better. He really did seem to her like someone that she would get along with perfectly. she hoped so at least.

A bad feeling was starting to make its way through her. She knew what it was. It happened several times a day and not always with warning. She tensed completely, her one hand grabbing the seat of the chair next to her and the hand that was resting on his leg turning so that she could hold onto his hand. Maybe it would help to have someone with her.

She was scared, no, she was terrified. She always was when she knew that he was around somewhere. She was just waiting for him to say something, knowing that he would but just not being sure when. She hated this, absolutely hated this.

She was having a nice conversation with someone and then he just had to come and ruin it for her. She hoped that he wouldn't hurt her again, she had a feeling he would. The bruises from the last time was still on her arm. She was trying her best to ignore it so that she would just be able to keep having a normal conversation but she guessed it was already too late for her.

"He's here.." It was the best explanation that she could offer him at the moment, her voice would express her fear. She knew that he probably wouldn't understand, he wouldn't be able to hear the voice inside her head or feel the depressing feeling that it sent through her body and mind. She'd tried to kill herself the last time, that had made him angry. She would try not to make him angry this time.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Ren Tenshi]

His mother had cried when she had found out how short his life would be but he didn’t. He had asked, “Are there surgeries?”, even though his mother didn’t want him to have any kind of procedure. Too bad his doctor had told him there were no known treatments; this left him more depressed than knowing he had no choice. At least with cancer there was some treatment to make you feel better, to make you feel like you were doing something to prevent it. All Ren could do was fight it the old fashioned way, with will and determination. That’s basically all he could do.

He playfully cringed at her words knowing she was joking but playing along with her. Rap wasn’t his favorite type of music though he did listen to it occasionally for the fun of it. He had to be in the mood for it though. “It’s a crime of sound, that’s what it is!” he laughs brightly thinking about her question and how to answer it. “Well, I was born and raised in Japan so I’m partial to the J-rock sound, Japanese Rock, that is. But I do enjoy the sound of Evanescence, Seether, and bands like that!” He enjoyed rock more than he did most other types of music though, he did enjoy Latin music a bit.

Having been blind most of his life, Ren was very aware of shifts in moods or body posture and when she tensed he became worried. Then again, one would say that the place he was in was weird and worrisome but he didn’t want his new friend to get hurt. Her hand gripped his tightly and he squeezed comfortingly trying to figure out what could possibly be making her so paranoid and jumpy.

When she spoke up, he instantly thought there was someone walking into the library but when he listened…no one was there except them. He would know. He had hearing like a bat and vibrations in the floorboards were very apparent for him. Then, he knew what it was: Her illness. He lets his shoulders relax and reaches out for her to take her by the shoulder. “Rosie,” he whispers gently while running his callused hand up her neck to make her look at him. “I may not know what torments you, but I’m going to do my best to help you. Just concentrate of me.” He gently strokes her cheek with his fingers enjoying the softness of her trembling skin. “Talk to me.” [/size]

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

Talk to him.. Maybe that would help her at least a little. She would try anything.

His hand on her face was comforting in a way as well, just knowing that he was there was helping her to not panic as much as she normally would. Her grey eyes were just resting on his face as she tried to calm herself down. Why did this have to happy now of all times.

"You can't help me. No one can."

Her voice was shaky with fear still but she sounded extremely depressed. And she was. She always got depressed when this happened. And she always felt unsafe.

Her feelings were contradicting her words, but she had no choice but to say something like that. The presence in her head was threatening and she knew what happened when she made it angry. She also knew that he got jealous of anyone else she might talk to, as if he was supposed to be the only important person in her life.

"Who's this Rosie dear, and why is he stroking your face?"

The voice in her mind was curious in a harsh way, the question being an attempt at being nice. But to her the voice in her mind would never sound nice or anything close to it.

"He's going to hurt me Ren.. He always does."

Sometimes she wished that he would just kill her and get it over with but he never hurt her that much. The things that happened in her mind seemed so real to her that her body reacted to it as if it actually happened. That's why she frequently had cuts and bruises even though no one had touched her. Her mind saw the things that happened as real instead of them just being halluciations or something like that.

She didn't know what to do. Her mind was telling her to run or at least get away from Ren so tha the wouldn't get hurt too. But she also wanted to stay with him in the hope that he could help her.

"Don't ignore me, Rosie."

The voice was sounding angry and it made her tremble more violently, a shiver running up her spine momentarily. She was starting to feel cold, even frozen. Like she'd been sitting in a freezer or something. Her whole body was going icy cold too and she felt as if something was constricting her breathing.

"Why is it so cold in here?"

Her voice was strained and slow. She was struggling to breathe, the air just didn't seem to want to go to her lungs. It was making her lightheaded and she could feel her heartbeat slow and her mind start to drift towards sleep. She was starting to fall to the side of the chair slowly too.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground