dull and grey

[Dark*Nature <3]

She walked down the hallway, heading for her room. The bags weighing each of her shoulders down. Compared to everything around her, Avianna looked like a rainbow on a cloudy day but instead it was her coloful clothes in a dull place. She was wearing a pink Aeropostale shirt with a yellow undershirt and blue shorts. Her dark hair was pulled up in a ponytail and it swung back ad forth as she walked along. Once she got to her room she threw her bags at the floor. She looked around, This place needs a makeover, badly. While unpacking her stuff, she slid the sketchpad in the bottom of the drawer and put clothes on top of it. She loved that sketchpad and some of her best sketches are in there. She laid her make-up try on top of the dresser lightly. Then she took the poster and hung it on the wall with some sticky tack she found on the wall in the hallway. Avianna then stuffed the empty bags she used under her bed. She spent her time making and remaking her bed. It bugged her that it was all dull and grey. Also the blanket bugged her because it reminded her that she doesn't know when to use it or not.

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

"Hello Rosie.. How are you today?"

Rosie had thought it would be a good day today, a day free of the complications that came with her mental illness. But no, apparently he was still there in her mind, tormenting her and just not leaving her alone.

"Go away."

She was sitting in the hallway with her back against a wall, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms around them while she rested her forehead on her knees, her eyes shut as she tried to block out what wasn't even there.

"Don't be like that Rosie. I was only being polite and asking you how you were."

The voice in her head was annoyingly smug and had it been a physical thing she would be strangling it.

"I said, GO AWAY!!"

She screamed, she'd starting trembling and she removed her arms from around her legs to hold onto her head.

"Rosie.. I'm not going anywhere.. You should know that you silly girl. I am part of you, without me you don't exist. I will never go away."

She was shaking even more now, the calm voice in her mind unbearable. She had a rope tied in a noose around her neck, it was only a short rope so she couldn't really tie it to anything else. Her one hand moved down from her head to take the end of the rope. Tears streaming down her pale face. She had a terrified expression on her face.

"Don't be stupid Rosie..."

The voice was trying to be comforting, to draw her away from the suicidal part of her mind. But it was the only way to get away from the voice, she had to kill herself to be able to kill it. She knew that.

Her hand was shaking as she started to slowly pull the noose tighter and tighter around her neck, shaking with both sobs and out of sheer terror. She didn't know what would happen if she managed to pull the noose tight enough to stop the air going into her lungs.. But she wanted to get away, she needed to get away, she just couldn't take it anymore.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Dark*Nature <3]

Avianna stopped playing with the blanket when she heard yelling. She got scared and curious about it. It sounded like a irl and she was getting attacked or tortured by something. Aviana got up slowly walking towards the door. Being careful not to make any noise. There was a girl, yelling at the air. There was nothing around her. I wonder if her boyfriend broke up with her or something and she can't get it out of her head. She walked up to her and sat next to her. But then she saw the rope in her hand and she followed it with her eyes and it was wrapped around the girls neck. She kept pulling it tighter. Avianna watched her chest, then she stopped breathing. She grabbed the rope from her hand and loosened it around her neck. She moved the girls hair and pulled the rope off her. She put the rope next to her so the girl couldn't grap it. Avianna put her arms around the girl and looked at her, "Are you okay? Why are you doing this to yourself?" She looked at the girl in the eyes, it was clouded with fear and darkness.

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

She sat frozen as the girl sat next to her and took the rope away from her and took it from around her neck as well. When she felt the girl's arms go around her she flinched and became tense but she didn't pull away. If the girl wanted to hurt her then she could go ahead and do it. Rosie didn't care at the moment.

She could hear the girl's words but it was taking a long time to get to her brain.

"Did you hear that Rosie, she wants to know if you're okay. Why did you do that Rosie, I told you it was a stupid thing to do. You could've hurt yourself."

The voice was sympathetic and almost caring near the end but still it seemed taunting to her. She started sobbing again but she leaned towards the girl, just wanting comfort from someone who was real, maybe the girl could make him go away.

"Answer her Rosie! She asked you a question."

The harshness of the voice in her head made her flinch, it felt like something stabbing into her mind.

"Come on Rosie, don't test my patience. You know what happens."

Rosie did know what happens and it wasn't something that she wanted. She would avoid it at all costs.

"I.. I wa..s tt..try..ing to g..et ri..d off him."

She told the girl through the sobbing.

"That's my good girl."

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Dark*Nature <3]

Avianna put her other arm around her and hugged the girl feeling bad for her, wishing that she could just feel the warmth of her or the coldness of the ground. She looked at the girl as she flinched. "Who is this him? Do I need to hurt someone?" she asked trying to make the girl a little happier. She whispered, "Killing yourself is not going to help anyone." She wiped her tears away with her sleeve as the girl sobbed. She pulled her hair out of her face and looked at her. She watched her carefully, wanting to help badly but not knowing how. Avianna still looked around to see if anyone was there but still the dull place was empty and lifeless except them two. "Please don't hurt yourself again," she said gently to the girl trying not to upset her even more. She rubbed the girl's arm trying to comfort her. "Now tell me, what is you name hun?" she lightly said trying to smile at the girl. Avianna sighed and looked at the rope and looked back at the girl. I can't understand how somone as beautiful as her wanted to hurt or even think about killing herself.

[` W.histle..]

+ Rosie =
Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette till the good lord come

Rosie was struggling to pay enough attention to the girl to head everything that she said. Her fear was making it almost impossible for her to be aware of the things that happened. She just wanted to crawl into a little hole and stay there.

"You're being rude again Rosie. She asked you your name among other things. Now, that's a simple enough question isn't it."

She could feel pain in her arm and she pulled it to her chest before holding it lightly but bruising was already starting to show up as though someone had grabbed onto her arm and been holding it way too tight.

"Rosie. My name's Rosie."

She spoke in a rush, just wanting to get the words out before he hurt her more. She had stopped crying but a terrified look was still in her eyes, though she was in pain too now and it showed on her pale features.

She seemed to be calming down a little, she'd stopped shaking completely now and was just sitting still, waiting. She would just let anything happen now. It didn't matter anymore because she would end up dead anyway.

Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
You're mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go

The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground

[Dark*Nature <3]

She watched the girl carefully as she tried to spit out words. It looked like she was in pain. Avianna felt bad for the girl. She watched the girls every little movement to see if she could figure out what was wrong with the girl. "You have a beautiful name," she said quietly still trying not to upset or disturb the girl right in front of her. I think I can figure this out. I want to be a doctor. I can do this. She looked at her head to toe. It looked like she was hiding from something or someone. She looked down at the floor, "You are having hallucinations, aren't you?" She rubbed the girls arm still looking at her. I do feel bad for her for whatever she has. Maybe that is why she is here because of the illusions and hallucinations she has. "Tell me my dear, why are you here?" she spoke to the girl in a friendly matter. Then Avianna stood up and offered a hand. "Why don't we go take this in my room instead of this dirty hallway where anyone can walk by at any time?" she said thoughtfully to Rosie.